Contentment

Well life right now can only be described as contentment. I am very content with my life. But when does contentment evaporate to desire? When does contentment turn into an excuse for being lonely, or not what you want? Dont get me wrong i'm still at content, but everyonce in a while..wouldn't it be nice to have something more? All my life i've been content with being That girl. The girl who didn't care if i had someone there for me as long i was there for some one. But alas its time, when that isn't enough. Where in this life i would like someone there who does stuff for me, who cares about me. I know its a selfish request, but once in a while it would be nicefor everyone to experience it. For once to be told i'm beautiful, and that no one would want to change me for any reason...not shape or size or hair or anything. No i dont get that, i dont think i have ever got a sincerecompliment that really went to my heart about ME, and not work that i do. Sometimes i just wish that me was good enough, but that isn't the case aparently.

This world

Last night, I had a severe breaching. As I was writing in my adventure book, explaining the events of my indicisive life, I realized that it really is such a blessing to have great friends in your life. But its a bigger burden if your not willing to share your trials with them. Although it is difficult if you try to explain your trials and they do not understand your true pain. Not a whole lot of people in this world will understand you in life, which is such a depressing thought. Its worse when the people you think you can trust dont understand too. but it is something you truly need to get out of your system, it does help to talk about it. Wont it be great to someday find your best friend in the world...and share everything with them? your likes and dislikes, your happiness and pain..someone to hold you in their arms and whisper words of encouragement when your blue, or even just let you cry against them? Can you tell i'm ready for that? I'm actually not, t hats the wierd thing, commitment itself scares me. But if you really love that person, you'll never want to be without them. Its such a great feeling